User blog:HeypplsOfficial/how to successfully beat your meat

I think comedy is my thing. Am I original, no. But that doesn't matter. Today I am showing you how to properly beat your meat. Now since I'm broke as f**k, I can't afford actual steak. So I am going to still copyrighted, watermarked steak pictures (edit: too lazy to add photos) and teaching you how to tenderize your meat. Not your d*ck meat oh my gosh the actual f**king protein god damn y'all will take clickbait to a whole other level

"inb4 heyppls ban"

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I'll go home

Anyways when I masturbate beat my meat I normally start by stroking it. Nice and gentle getting that meat tenderized, juicy, and maybe even stiff. Lay your meat on the table. Make sure it is not moist, a wet c0ck  steak is nasty how you gon tenderize it if your hand keeps falling out? Get 1 teaspoon of sea salt. This will be great for seasoning while you're beating your meat. Use your fingers to go up and down caressing it like a newborn baby. Work into the surface getting that salt into the meat. Then afterward your hands should be covered in very sticky liquids and substances from your meat. You should be able to nicely prepare your meat for your whole family, and they should hopefully get inspired to beat their meat too.