Board Thread:Off-Topic/@comment-29512888-20190813181244

We are finally back to a new episode of the series! Sorry for being particularly late (just for a change lol), but I have been busy for a while and I needed some extra time to check out additional stuff from July I didn't get the chance to hear immediately. Anyway, onto the countdown!

Introduction
It's July, and here we are to another underwhelming month. To be fair, I actually had around 15 candidates for the list, but I realized they weren't as good as I thought upon second listen. Sadly, two of my Honorable Mentions don't even have available lyrics at the time of writing, thus preventing the expansion of the list.

Honorable Mentions (the last two songs have no lyrics)
This doesn't qualify because it's not been released as a single (yet), but it's still pretty damn cool and retro. Lyrics-less song #1. Seems like the producer had a fun time distorting this poor guy's voice, but the great instrumental is enough to make up for that. Lyrics-less song #2. Like Funkytown but 1000 times better. And of course it has no lyrics because we can't have nice things in the world. Urgh.

6. DJ Shadow ft. De La Soul - Rocket Fuel
With a late 80's-early 90's rap group making an unexpected comeback, it totally made sense to pair them with a non-mainstream DJ, but what I really didn't expect was the final result to be nice and groovy. It obviously borrows a lot from 90's funk-rap with the bassline, the drums and the turntable, and the De La Soul guys have enough charisma to drive the whole thing home. There are some quite cheesy lyrics here and there, but it's not a great deal to me because it's not meant to be a lyrical masterpiece (more on that later), plus there wasn't enough competition this month... *sighs*

5. Miranda Lambert - Locomotive
Remember that utter disaster that was Me Too? God, I hate it. There isn't one single thing about it that works: the beat is leaden and like a cheese-grater to the ears, Meghan is snooty as hell with her delivery, the rapping is cringe, the lyrics have an ultra-condescending tone that literally mocks the listener... Now, imagine that song with all its problems fixed and you got Locomotive: where Me Too assaults everyone's eardrums with its horrible synths and bubbly sounds, Locomotive keeps the groove alive with some nice rock guitars; where Meghan starts acting like a loathsome diva, Miranda kicks her out and brings the stage presence that is needed to make this type of song work; and most of all, where Meghan embarrasses herself with skin-crawling wordplay ("my life's a movie, Tom Cruise, so bless me baby ah-choo" *shudders*), Miranda just doesn't. However, this is far from the bes rock staple of the month, as you'll have to dig further onto this list. In the meanwhile, let's change the genre with...

4. Gorgon City - Elizabeth Street
On the other hand, there's not much to say about this song, except that I can affirm it sounds like nothing else in its genre. It's pretty much a standard house instrumental, yet it diverts from the usual sound a lot with its unseen musical choices without losing the typical house flavor, mostly thanks to some great synthwork that makes this song earn its deserved #4 spot. And now, let's move on to the polar opposite - a song that shines exactly becuause of the lyrics.

3. Kano - Trouble
The first place of the podiu of July goes to Kano's Trouble, an unapologetically old-school hip-hop piece that strikes remarkably on the lyrical level. I admit there's not much to the production, but then why should I complain when there are such great lyrics? Seriously, this guy did a great job at depicting what life feels like in an African American community, with all those shootings, racist acts, violence even from police officers, who are supposed to be the first people to stop all of this, and most importantly, the politician who have never cared about such problems and don't think twice before tossing slurs for no reason other than making these poor peoples' lives even worse. I'm a bit confused by the final verse, which talks about throwing a wild party, but it's a bit understandable at the end of the day. After all that pain, who wouldn't have some fun and leave all the bad thoughts behind for just one day?

2. Ed Sheeran, Chris Stapleton and Bruno Mars - Blow
One of the most anticipated albums of the year was definitely Ed Sheeran's No. 6 collaborations project, which churned out a few singles that were mostly average at best. However, one song struck gold on all levels, and here I am giving praise to it. The first notable quality is easily the instrumentation, which rocks to no end with the guitars and all the retro flair, and the three performers put out impressively charismatic performances as they scream their lungs out while promising to impress a girl. Seriously, did you really expect this concept to work out from these people? I mean, Bruno was pretty obvious, but Chris and Ed? I would have laughed my butt of at the idea, but things luckily went well for everyone involved and the final result is nowhere near as laughable as I thought. Thank goodness some decent music existed this month!

1. Anna Meredith - Paramour
We close this month's list with Paramour, which earns a special mention for being one of the (possibly the) most unconventional song I've ever heard so far this year. It is literally a 5-minutes-long roller coaster ride, as it starts with some slow guitar strums and then progressively builds up as more and more instruments are added: drums, more guitars, piano, literally everything you can think of. Not only that, but the melody and the chords constantly change as time goes, making each moment sound different from the previous one. The best part, however, is easily the last minute, when all the chaos you could imagine is harvested into a crazy solo and then bombastically explodes into the last note, leaving the listener satisfied but also weirded out at the same time. The final result can be ompared to eating pizza with pears and goat cheese: it's a strange experience, but you can't deny it was worth it in the end and anyone should try it at least once in their lives.

Recommendations
Japan has been consistently good at making rock music, and this song is no exception. If only this month's music was this good... Didn't really expect the raw The Weeknd and the sweet Lana Del Rey of all people to have some chemistry, but it happened somehow. I really wish this was a full song and not an interlude but, as it is, I can't complain. In case you didn't get it, retro is my favorite music concept. Japan is also quite good at experimental music. If you feel the latest K-Pop songs are too generic and Western, this will definitely work for you. Another really good instrumental to officially close the month. I generally use the term "background music" in a negative way, but not all background music is worthless. If you manage to create the perfect ambiance, you will still find a way into my playlist! 