Board Thread:Off-Topic/@comment-29512888-20190911210957

Welcome back to another episode of this monthly series! Sorry for being so incredibly late (as usual), but I have been busy because I had to prepare myself for an university entrance test. Anyway, I was about to call this month as desperately sad as all the pervious ones, but then an album bomb by someone everyone knows came and... well, you'll see.

7. D.R.A.M. ft. H.E.R. and WATT - The Lay Down
Remember that rapper from that Broccoli song from 3 years ago? Well, now he's back in the hip-hop scene and crafted something that unexpectedly works: a hip-hop R&B sex jam that is good. Now, don't get me wrong, I have nothing against sex songs, I'm 19, after all... it's just that literally nobody knows how to make a sex song right! Most rappers have no delicacy at all and just focus on how many kinky terms they can cram into one verse, making the details way too graphic and squeezing vomit out of the world's stomachs - and don't get me started on the beats, pffffft. At this point it's clear that no one bothers providing actual music to these talentless hacks. The Lay Down, however, flips everything by embracing some welcome subtlety, not only in the lyrics themselves, but also in the performances, which are incredibly suave and fit the carefully built atmosphere. Of course it doesn't hurt that the music also knocks it out of the park, with those gritty guitars and the overall relaxing pace, saving not only this month but also the entire world of 2019's R&B.

6. Normani - Motivation
It isn't very common for me to talk about popular songs, and that's for two reasons: one, the Top 20 hasn't moved much this year, so very few stuff managed to scrape onto the higher spots and stay there long enough, and two, I've always preferred to keep a closer eye to more underrated stuff, so that everyone received their deserved amount of exposure. However, I have to give credit where it's due, and here's an example. The obvious star of the show in Motivation is the super bouncy beat that has its roots in 2000's pop and R&B, which is instantly bound to make anyone twerk, even the people with the smallest butts in the world, but Normani also gets a piece of the cake as she's having tons of fun with the delivery, and it shows. Ariana Grande's backing vocals are the final icing on the cake, bringing some fondly needed fun in this world of musical averageness. If only Ariana ever did anything this good after thank u, next...

5. Taylor Swift - Paper Rings
OK, so here we start with the big highlight of the month: Taylor Swift's most recent album. I haven't heard it in its entirety because I rarely check out albums, but if someone told me this was one of the best songs, then I'd believe them immediately. Like 99% of Taylor's music, this song celebrates earnest sentiments for a new lover and the desire to spend the rest of life with them, over a catchy retro beat full of energy, which only gets better as it goes up a key. I'm not adding much detail this time because Paper Rings isn't the only song from Lover that gained a spot onto the list, so I don't want to repeat myself. In the meanwhile, brace yourself for more cool stuff!

4. Taylor Swift - Lover
See what I mean? Anyway, I remember hearing Taylor's first promotional single The Archer and, while I admit it's written very impressively, the music didn't really pay off the way it should have - it always sounded like it was heading towards something great, yet that "something great" never happened. Then, Lover came and it literally blew me away. While it's not that different from The Archer, it's still miles ahead thanks to some really cool doo-wop inspiration permeating the entire backing track and adding all the needed romantic ambiance. And wow, those echo vocals are just... from another world. I swear, Taylor sounds so lovely that she's almost transfigured herself with her own voice. If schmaltzy ballads are not for you, however, I've got the song below.

3. Emotional Oranges - Just Like You
One of the very few albums I've checked out this year was Emotional Oranges' The Juice Vol. 1, under Spectrum Pulse's joyous recommendation - and I have absolutely no regrets because oh boy, is it amazing! This previously unknown duo have been consistently great at producing slick R&B with a few touches of pop and funk, and Just Like You is no exception. I admit the verses aren't particularly noteworthy but, as soon as the chorus comes, the cards on the table are completely flipped and your soul gets blessed by lusty female vocals and some of the juiciest bass guitar I've ever heard. I'm not really a fan of the line "Touch myself" because hearing about masturbation in music makes me feel a bit uncomfortable (even though I know it's normal), but the gorgeous music redeems everything.

2. Poppy - Concrete
Well... if this isn't the most confusing thing I've ever heard in Western music, then I don't know what is. Concrete has absolutely no logical thread in terms of music, with the beat constantly switching from a hard-hitting rock tune to a more restrained pop tone, and then to rock again but different... But then you read the lyrics and everything makes sense... oh wait, what was th... ah nah, I still don't understand what this whole travesty is supposed to mean. First she wants to be buried six feet deep (I guess she likes some hot BDSM), then she says chewey chewy yummy yummy (????), and then she says she wants to drink blood (?!???!?!??!??!?) and then she wants to be buried again just what the absolute f- ???!?"?=?)"=)=801983129)?(!"07987893464. Uuuugh, never mind, I guess it's part of some long triquadripentaesaeptatrilogy that has characterised her entire career, but I'm not bothered checking out her discography because I'd have to buy all the time in the world to accomplish this huge mission. In the meanwhile, I know all the parts of the song sound great, and it's exactly that feeling of disorientation that makes me love this song so much. I'll probably never know the actual meaning behind this enormous musical puzzle, but this thing has more Easter eggs and sub-plots than all of Loona's music videos put together, so can you blame me? Moving on, we announce that the #1 prize goes to...

1. Taylor Swift and The Dixie Chicks - Soon You'll Get Better
...TAYLOR SWIFT????? I mean, Lover is hands down the best thing she's done in a few years, but even then, I didn't expect her to craft something this eventful. However, everything made sense as soon as I learned the story behind this masterpiece. Soon You'll Get Better was written after Taylor's mother was diagnosed with cancer and had to undergo a very straining battle against the disease, and gets absolutely everything right. The music isn't very detailed, just an acoustic guitar, some strings and backing vocals by The Dixie Chicks, but it doesn't matter at all because the whole point is still driven home. Not only that, but Taylor is obviously the front-and-center of the piece, and boy, does she deliver? She just sounds so heartbroken and sweet, it's impossible not to shed a tear for her. I don't know if her mum is still sick - I guess she probably is, considering the circumstances - but either way, I hope she'll find a way to regain her health, and I seriously wish her and her family the best. Of course, I can't forget to mention the song also deserves all my compliments and shows what Taylor is capable to do when she fully exploits her potential. Congratulations, and I hope you'll keep up the great work!

Recommendations
Never really cared about German music because getting to know music from every single country is literally impossible, but either way, I hope Germany makes popular music as good as this song. On the other hand, I occasionally check out J-Pop out of curiosity (not just Japanese songs by Korean artists, but also original Japanese music), and I'll be honest with you, I'm not really wowed by it. I don't know, the melodies just don't grab me as much as K-Pop does. This song, on the other hand, is the exact opposite with an awesome chorus and tons of AutoTune and synths. A while ago, I met a guy on the Internet who is a lot into European music from foreign countries (and K-Pop as well), and recommended me a few 2018 hits from Russia and Greece respectively. Anyway, do you guys remember when I said that Take The Wheel sounds like 80's music because that's a current trend in Russia right now? Well, here's the prime example and, although it's not as good, it's still worth checking out in my opinion. And this is the song from Greece, which I also liked. This, instead, was Serbia's entry for Eurovision 2019, and its main inspiration is obviously none other than Billie Eilish. Once again, the results struggle to reach the high quality standards of the original piece, but there's still some good will behind it, so full marks for effort! 