User blog:Kanetrealms/I need help...

I just wish I could have done this earlier. For the past few years, I've been dealing with bad personal issues and I haven't been able to get it out properly. Now, I'll spill everything out.

It started around 6th grade. I was overwhelmed with stress. I have to deal with 3 mental disorders each day (Anxiety, depression, panic disorder), plus actual health issues. I was nothing new to this. Except now I had another nemesis to deal with. Fricking great. I started getting bullied by older kids who thought "Hey! Let's go ahead and bully this idiot". On the outside, I was calm, cool, and collected, but on the inside I was breaking down. Let's add to the fact that my school was filled with high expectations of students. It's like your basically being watched on a camera 24/7. I felt stupid for the dumbest reasons. I would break down when no one was looking, and it became unhealthy. I never asked for help because I knew my problems were smaller compared to other people (Like, I don't know, people with sickly conditions). I knew it was unhealthy, but I felt small. I would sit out of everything. I was fake to everyone. I wanted to quit life already.

As years went on, I became more mentally unstable. It got to the point where I would write notes about my suicide, and thoughts took over my brain. Honestly, I wish I got help earlier, but I was idiotic, and didn't.

This community helped me get away, but only for a temporary amount of time. I still have the mental problems I had a couple years back.

I don't wanna go on rambling about my problems and repeating too long, so I'm just leaving it here. I'm sorry I took time out of your day.