Talk:Just Dance 2018/@comment-32338798-20170911193409/@comment-1465604-20170912004446

And "Despacito" would fall under the umbrella of "May contain content inappropriate for children". But it's only about sex and even then it's got some plausible deniability, especially with the censorship and the fact that it's in Spanish so relatively few people outside of Spain and Latin America (and parts of France, Italy and Portugal) will understand it.

Let me enumerate the things about "Closer" the ESRB would throw conniptions over:
 * "I drink too much and that's an issue but I'm okay" - Alcohol abuse, plain and simple. And it's even glossed over. "It's an issue, but I'm okay, no problem, I'll just keep doing it!"
 * "So baby pull me closer in the backseat of your Rover" - Public sex. An argument can be made that they mean in a parked car in someone's in-door garage, but only a really desperate person would argue that.
 * "That I know you can't afford" - Either she stole it or she's leading an unhealthy lifestyle.
 * "Of the mattress that you stole / From your roommate back in Boulder" - Theft. From friends (or at least roommates), no less.
 * Now here comes the only part that's a big ambiguous: "We ain't ever getting older" - They sing this 13 times (+3 more times in chorus). What does it mean? Occam's Razor says they mean it literally since most of the song is pretty straight-forward and devoid of metaphors. They're literally not ever going to get older than they are now. Why? Because they will die soon. Either they'll kill themselves together or they know that the lifestyles they're leading will kill them soon enough. Neither thing are things the ESRB will be thrilled over.

Then there's the music video, which is basically one long PG13 sex scene. To have "Closer" in Just Dance is to court disaster when kids who may like dancing to it search for it on Youtube. "Closer" is basically a perfect example of almost every single thing the ESRB hates. Ubisoft would have to be nuts to include it.