User blog:IFosterI/How to Get Girls

If you're a male reading this, you're welcome. If you're female.......Be amazed.

If you have PKU, possible trigger warning ahead.
Okay, so, there's that asian girl with the long hair that just scored you a look, and you were just assigned a science project together. Here's how she'll be your girlfriend.

First off, you need to decide something. Relationships never work out if the female does more work. Or at least it'll be a Bad Romance. So, now you decide on, Phenylketonuria. Yes, that's a word.

So, now you gotta research  Phenylketonuria. So, how do you do that? Google, ya idiot.

So, then when the girl isn't looking, you search up, "How to get girls" on Google, but without the teacher looking over your shoulder. So, how do you do it? Well, you look at this blog, but then, unfortunately, your lab partner looks over your shoulder, and then sees this. Well, you have 2 options. 1: You blast Little Apple to cover it up, or you run.

You run, you idiot.

So, you get caught by a teacher, and then, get sent to detention. What do you do in detention? You climb out the window. You decide to run off into the river where you'll never get found, and sink to the bottom of the ocean. Besides from all the water pollution, you find Wateropolis.

That's not a word.

So, you just do what everybody does. Look for help. But, you're in the middle of the ocean, so, what the hell are you gonna do?

Realise you're still on school grounds.

Once your lab partner saves you from the river, you find out that class is dismissed, and with your perfect attendance grade, you decide to run off, because screw being late.

You go off into the road with your lab partner, and then when you're on the other side of the road, your lab partner asks you why you're with her on the other side of the road, when school is still going on. The answer is simple.

Find someone with  Phenylketonuria.

It's easy. Just find someone with a smalla*s head.

Once you did that, ask if they have  Phenylketonuria, and when they slap you, you say you have a girl to protect you, because you can never hit a girl. Unless that girl is asking for a fight because you hugged one of their friends that just so happened to be the opposite gender as you.......Emily.......

Then the cute girl looks at you smiling, with her dimples, and weird eyebrows, and says,

"Oh, Fosty, I'm so brave!" and then you agree, and then the girl walks away, and you call for her attention, and ask for a kiss.

She'll say yes, and then your friend with flat feet, also known as  Phenylketonuria,  swoops in for a kiss, and he walks away with your lab parter, but you don't get mad, you were the wingman all along, and you swim away to your home in Wateropolis.