User blog:IFosterI/Horror Movies, and Why The Blonde Chick Always Dies First.

'Sup, homesquids? With the success of the Gigi Rowe blog, I decided to make another one, and hope this one would be humorous like the last one.

Wait, so, are you telling me there's a poltergeist roaming around my house?

Yes, and you should be very careful about what happens to your daughter.

(Runs to neighbour's house)

HEY! There's a poltergeist in my house! Can I stay at your place for like.......ever?

Sure, but not on holidays, though.

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There's a serial killer on the loose. Be careful, he might pop out at any second if we're alone.

The we should split up.

Wait, NO! I just said you could die if you're alone.

But then we'll find the killer more easily if we split up.

Why would you even wanna find the killer, anyways? You need to get as far away from him as possible!

You do know the killer is a woman, right?

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(heavy breathing)

What was that?

It was probably just Roy.

But, shouldn't we see what that is?

Um, no. You'll die if you'll go to the noise.

Nah, I'm a blonde chick, I'll die first, anyways.

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Hello?

Hey.

Who was that?

The guy who is about to kill you. I'm in the kitchen, want a sandwich?

Um, sure.

---

(knocks on door)

Dude. I'm changing.

Ew. Go to the living room when you're done. I'll kill you there.

Sounds cool.

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(THUD)

What was that?

I-I had a chainsaw, and I wanted to hunt you down, but, I have a mask on, so it's really hard to see, and chainsaws are heavy as f*ck.

---

Guess it's time to film myself sleeping.

Why?

To see if the killer is in my house.

But, if the killer is in the house, then you'll probably die before you'll see the footage, and the battery on the camera might run out in the middle of the night, anyways. Or it'll just be boring a*s footage.

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<- Safety                 Death->

Which way do we go?

Um, left. It clearly says "Safety" on it.

But that'll be a trick, thinking that we'll make it out alive, but in reality, we aren't.

Then where will the right path take us?

Death.

Then which goddamn way do we go?

Backwards?

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DON'T GO IN THE ATTIC!

There is no attic.

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Hello.

Who was that?

Me.

(Pulls out gun) Die, b*tch.

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There's an evil doll in our house.

I got this. (Kicks doll out the window)

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Wow, I realized that a lot of horror movies have a killer in them. Most of these aren't original.