Welcome to Beat Yo Face: The Crystal Mascara Reunited! Tonight, our sickening cast returns to kiki with one another and discuss some of the season’s most iconic and shocking moments! Without further ado, welcome the cast of Beat Yo Face: The Crystal Mascara!
One queen has decided not to join us today. [Everyone stares at Billy Eyelash’s seat]
Now ladies, let’s get on to the reunion!
Reunion[]
QOS: Welcome back queens! Now this season was filled with gobsmacking moments that left everyone at the edge of their seats. Chile, the drama, controversy, and messiness was everywhere!
This leads us to our first question of the night, to none other than our iconic, irreplaceable Top 3 queen, OzQueen. Although you have 3 challenge wins under your belt (including Snatch Game), many of our fans think that you’ve been “robbed” in many of the challenges this season, especially during Episode 3. Any thoughts?
OzQueen: I do think the same, f*ck everyone who stole my chances to win because of some ugly out of color dresses [glares at Sin D.] and also some wack @ss b*tch who got a win by using a T-shirt and a pair of sweatpants [glares at Gingica], so yeah I was robbed and that's not fair, I have more talent than these h0es.
Gingica: Indeed, Sin D. didn’t deserve some of her wins.
[Camera pans to Sin D.]
OzQueen: But talking about robbing, María what’s good hun? You talking about me being a bad competitor but YOU couldn’t stand the competition and decided to leave, so explain.
[Camera pans to María]
[The hosts go “ooooh”]
Natasha: Just when I thought this mess had ended it’s starting again.
OzQueen: [to María] Why are you saying I am a weak b*tch when you left on your own by feeling attacked?
María: ...What do you mean?
OzQueen: Who’s the weak b*tch now? I didn’t leave, my looks are flawless, I have a personality, what do you have? Before anything else, I want to state: F*CK. YOU. B*TCH.
[The queens exchange awkward glares]
Via: María, what do you have to say?
María: See, this is what I am saying, OzQueen already being a b*tch. What do you have against me?
[OzQueen stares daggers at her]
María: She’s silent…
OzQueen: F*ck you. You are so [redacted], I don’t like you. María, do you wanna fight? Yes or no--
María: What the hell?
OzQueen: Do you wanna fight, yes or no?
María: I didn’t do anything to you and now I come back and this is what you do to me?
OzQueen: ‘Cause if you don’t, you’re a p*ssy @ss b*tch.
María: Alright, yes, because you’re so rude.
OzQueen: OK, ‘cause I will swing on your @ss. Don’t think I won’t?
María: You are a p*ssy OzQueen. And you won’t, try me b*tch.
OzQueen: Hello?! B*tch--
María: OzQueen shut up already.
Sin D.: [to María] I have receipts of you being a dumb b*tch.
María: I? A dumb b*tch? Look who’s talking.
Sin D.: The future winner of Season 3? Thank you boo.
María: Winner of my @sshole maybe, b*tch.
[OzQueen throws a heel at María]
[The queens scream]
OzQueen: B*tch!
María: What the hell? I’m gonna beat you up.
Gingica: Judges call the security!
María: I don’t like you OzQueen, I’ve never liked you, I never will.
OzQueen: Neither did I b*tch.
Sin D.: Same girl.
QOS: Ladies, that’s enough!
María: You will never be loved by anyone, you are a loser, now stop talking you f*cking b*tch.
OzQueen: F*CK YOU. I’m about to beat this b*tch up.
Sin D.: Girl we need the screen time.
María: [to OzQueen] The only screen time you’re getting is when you get eliminated at the Finale.
[Sin D. cackles]
OzQueen: At least I’m at the finals, you’ll be watching on your TV.
María: When I went home all I could think about is your shenanigans and mess. The things you did to me. People get hurt you know.
Sin D.: YAS bullying awareness!
OzQueen: María you are so full of sh*t… Period.
María: YOU are full of sh*t.
Sin D.: [to the hosts] The girls are wilding!
HoWaffles: That’s ENOUGH!
[The queens quiet down]
HoWaffles: Thank you. Now, one of the most shocking moments of the season was when we revealed that María Netta was really just a spy working for us! This reveal caused massive controversy online, with fans not knowing who’s who at that point; trust us, the only fake thing left was all the plastic surgery on all these queens’ faces. [The queens cackle] Now María, how did it feel like spying on the queens and do you wish you would’ve stayed longer?
María: It was nice getting special treatment and being above all the h0es. I wish I stayed longer though because I only left because I did not have access to my computer after 2 weeks. But considering everything that’s just happened to me, I’m glad I left the competition.
[Camera pans to OzQueen and Sin D.]
Via: Moving on to Erikka69. You got off to a great start in the competition, serving us your iconic tire dress. However, you began to stumble in the next few challenges, and were eventually eliminated in Episode 4. If you could go back, how would you have avoided this?
Erikka: I think I should’ve picked my elements a lot better and possibly put some effort into it but, at the time, I had relatively small creation time due to the different time zones that the judges were in, so I didn’t really have much of a choice.
QOS: Another queen who some feel was underappreciated was Gingica. The queens didn’t think of you as serious competition at the beginning since you didn’t make it far during the past 2 seasons. What do you have to say to them now that you’re Top 3?
Gingica: I mean, look where I am now. Top 3, signed into a record label and famous icon. While the others are what? Generic female impersonators? I’m the one laughing now.
[silence]
HoWaffles: That brings us to Natasha: Your rivalry with Gingica was certainly a highlight throughout the season, culminating in an iconic lipsync between the two of you. Do you still hold any grudges against her?
Natasha: Of course I do. Gingica is still an ugly b*tch and I objectively deserved to win over her ugly @ss b*tch in that lipsync but white mediocrity always wins I guess. I had a whole damn concept in my performance, meanwhile hers was… a mess to say the least.
[The queens go “oooh”]
Gingica: You shouldn’t have painted your face black then, we would both be white mediocrity then.
Maricarmen: Apologize, for f*ck’s sake.
Gingica: For what?
Maricarmen: For existing.
[The queens lose it]
Maricarmen: Gingewca.
Gingica: See, this is proof of me being mistreated.
Via: Alright, we’re gonna move on to Maricarmen Maestra! Our fans were very vocal about your runway looks this season. What do you think you would’ve improved on?
Maricarmen: I think I should improve on my inspiration, I was getting less and less inspiration as we were advancing. But to be honest my elimination was kinda racist, it was because I’m latina.
[The queens are confused]
Via: Girl aren’t you Spanish?
Maricarmen: Yeah, but Rosalía entered in the Latin Grammy, so following that, I’m latina too.
[The queens laugh]
Sin D.: You’re the only b*tch I’ve ever stanned in this house.
Maricarmen: Thank you boo.
HoWaffles: Now, we wanna ask Nateo G2D something. You weren’t showing much drive throughout your time in the season, leading you to ultimately quit the competition. Do you have any regrets?
Nateo: Well, I regret joining the competition in the first place.
[The queens chuckle]
Nateo: And not making a VSCO outfit sksksk and I oop and I oop! But seriously, I just wasn’t ready for the competition and pretty much as soon as I got there I realized that the pressure was gonna be too much. That isn’t to say I wouldn’t want to try it again, just that I wasn’t prepared this time around.
HoWaffles: Would you consider being a part of a future season?
Nateo: We’ll see about that!
QOS: The next question is for miss Sin D. Kate, the break-out, artsy queen who dominated the season. You had a big falling out with Gingica and OzQueen during Untucked in the finale episode, mostly spurring from you winning 4 challenges. Do you think they still hold any grudges against you?
Sin D.: Girl they do and they know it. As the season progressed I know they have some sort of hatred towards me I felt it. And to that I say I personally do not give a f*ck. They can spew out bullsh*t all they want, Gingica can say she was robbed on The Shrew, OzQueen can scream BS in the makeover challenge. They know they have the least amount of supporters because who’s gonna root for a queen with 1 win?
[Gingica glares at her]
Sin D.: If they see me as a threat? I don't even see myself as a threat, I'm the least threatening person in the competition if you ask me, they're just bad at their jobs let's be real sis.
QOS: Alright miss thing, that was a read! Now miss Hannah, the other queens weren’t expecting you to go far, yet you still made it to the Top 6 despite the critiques you got throughout the season! How did it feel like surviving?
Hannah: I felt surprised. I didn’t expect to do that well in the competition. And for me, it wasn’t about winning, it was about surviving. I’m really impressed with myself that I was in the top half of the competition. Even though I thought my work was a piece of sh*t, it was good enough for you guys.
[The queens giggle]
OzQueen: I sabotaged you on The Shrew, by the way.
[The queens gasp]
Via: What do you mean?
OzQueen: Basically, me and Natasha were angry at Hannah for not being active, so when she gave us her lines we f*cked her up. We just used the last 4 sentences she wrote and used for last.
[The hosts are speechless]
OzQueen: This makes reference to the line in my Call Me Mother verse: “Do I play dirty, well ask miss Hannah”.
Hannah: Girl, I forgive you.
[The queens laugh]
Via: Another queen who landed in the bottom multiple times was Robin X. Girl, you landed in the bottom for a record-breaking 5 times! What did you learn from your experience and is there anything you would’ve done differently?
Robin: What I would have done differently is do more girl looks ‘cause clearly the superhero boy drag was too much of a gimmick. So if I go on All Stars, I sure as hell am 100% gonna drop the superhero boy drag gimmick.
Sin D.: Even if you changed up your drag you'd still go home first anyway.
OzQueen: Yeah.
Robin: I wouldn’t.
Sin D.: Are you sure b*tch?
Robin: I would just steal another queen's style.
Sin D.: No thanks, I don’t wanna see you ruin mine sis.
OzQueen: That was what Sin D. did with her clown gown after criticising me for using clown inspired looks.
[The queens go “ooooh”]
Sin D.: B*tch you only wore one clown costume, when did I drag you for that? Show the receipts sis.
Robin: I'll copy Queen of Snakes and call myself Princess of Vipers.
[QOS glares at him]
Sin D.: [ignoring Robin] B*tch where are the receipts? Your drag isn't even clown related, you only wore one clown costume throughout, two if you count that ugly @ss Shakira look, three for that Yo Gabba Gabba mess, four for that incohesive as f*ck Ball, five for that copyright Arabic Disneyland lookin @ss coin.
Robin: ...Or my All Stars aesthetic could be a ripoff of skinny legend A'keria Chanel Davenport.
Sin D.: Got it, still going home first.
Robin: Nope, I’ll be winning, getting wins, getting sugar daddies all up on me.
Sin D.: Look sis here’s the tea: the reason why you went home early ain’t because you have a boy aesthetic but because you're just sh*t at rendering and making looks.
[Shade sound]
Robin: I would pay people to make my looks but that's against the rules.
Sin D.: Like you did not have a SINGLE amazing or average runway look.
OzQueen: Robin served throughout the season, that’s why I voted for her for Miss Congeniality.
Robin: My Met Gala-based look was good.
Sin D.: Was it? Or were the judges just giving you the benefit of the doubt and complimenting it because you were about to go home that episode anyway?
QOS: It was a serve actually, it actually fit the theme of red carpet unlike ms. Sin D.
Sin D.: I did not get on the reunion just to be slandered and put on blast by miss slow @ss f*ck b*tch who can't even give her critiques on time.
[The queens scream]
QOS: DISQUALIFIED!
[Everyone laughs]
Miss Congeniality[]
Now it’s time to reveal our Miss Congeniality for Season 3! This year’s Miss Congeniality will receive a prize of 150 A Points, as well as a sickening sash made by Fierce! Hag Jewels!
We’ve consulted with the queens and the fans to help us make our decision, and without further ado...
Via: The Miss Congeniality of Season 3 is…
Hosts: Condragulations our dear! Is there anything you’d like to say?
Hannah: Oh my God! I’d never thought I’d win something here on my own. Thanks ladies!
Hosts: Thank you for making it such an amazing season. Now wear that sash and prance!
Now, coming soon is a Countdown To The Crown where we, the hosts, will recap the season and look back at some of its very best looks. And next week, join us for the Grand Finale, where we’ll be crowning The Wiki’s Next Sass Supreme. Are you #TeamGingica, #TeamOzQueen, or #TeamSinD?
Let your voice be heard. Now ladies, if you can’t love yo’self, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else? Can we get an amen up in here?
Now, let the music play!